Making My Videos Different.

Okay. So it’s nothing new. There are tons of videos on youtube with people vlogging about losing weight.

How am I different?

From what I can see, people usually do a simple weigh-in weekly. They do a little talking and usually nothing really THAT relevant about their weight loss regimen.

So my ideal video would be to do a quick introduction. Followed up by 1-3 tips or insights on the previous week that I learned. Then reinforce these with my own experiences. I want to conclude my videos on a positive note and with a new goal. Each time.

I really want people to be there with me and see me as I change. I want to build a community. I also want my personality to show through the videos I’m doing. Michelle Phan does her own make up videos but there are tons of people who watch even though they have no need to.

Weekly videos. Monthly check-ins.

{ Getting There Plan I } Between Goal: 200 lbs (October 27, 2010)

How am I going to lose the first ten pounds?

There is only month of summer left. I honestly don’t want to bother with buying food. So I’m going to cut down on what I eat. Take what I normally eat and cut the portion in half. Stop buying junk food. Drink only water. Treat myself once a week to whatever I want. No eating after work.

Do Turbo Jam Monday through Friday. Rest on Saturday and Sunday. Get into the DVD’s and understand what I need to do. Learn and perfect the moves.

I can do this!

Jump In!

Only 19. Only. 19.

A very young age. I have the rest of my 20′s, 30′s and 40′s before I have to don this odd old lady look. Need to squeeze as much as I can from this life, right?

I can’t keep hesitating. I have to move forward and just DO IT.

Current Weight: 210 lbs (July 27, 2010)

Between Goal: 200 lbs (October 27, 2010)

1st Goal: 187 lbs (December 27, 2010)

Between Goal: 177 (March 27, 2010)

2nd Goal: 164 (May 27, 2010)

Between Goal: 154 (August 27, 2010)

3rd Goal: 141 (October 27, 2010)

Between Goal: 131 (November 27, 2010)

Final Goal: 120 lbs (December 27, 2010)

On Repeat.

There is this odd habit I have. It drives the people in my family crazy and probably wish the walls in our house were much thicker.

I get hooked on one song. ONE. And then I listen to it again and again and again. The little blue oval in iTunes is always activated. Days, weeks, months. I can listen to a single song for hours.

I thought this was a bad habit of mine. No one else in my family or my friends have this preference of listening to music. But I love it.

I love listening to the lyrics pound inside my head knowing exactly where to stop and start up again.

And then I discovered a quote on a website. I don’t know how exactly it went but the gist of it was this: “It’s okay to listen to a song many times over. Go with it. Your mind is trying to tell you something.”

I’m always a little self-conscious about my habits because I feel like I’m a freak for acting the way I do. I probably I am. But in the past 19 years, I’ve come to terms with the fact that as long as I’m happy there is nobody else I need to please.

Oh, personal note. I woke up at 4:10 am. That’s about 5 hours of sleep. Huh.

Excuses are the pretty poison.

I think our society promotes making excuses rather than owning up to mistakes. People are so quick to find some scapegoat to blame our problems on instead of thinking, “Okay. This happened. So how do I fix this? What can I do to get through this?”

Sometimes even the excuses don’t really seem like excuses. They’re justifications or stuff we say to make ourselves feel better or less guilty.

Or if you’re young adult like myself, you choose to proclaim: “Life sucks/is unfair.” The eloquence of this statement gets me every time. Really.

I screwed up freshman year pretty bad. The next three years I’ll be paying for it by working my ass off. But I need to get in the right mindset now–during the summer–so I can keep right on grooving come fall semester.

My mom told me that the condition of one’s room reflects the state of your mind. I have a problem with never putting things where they belong and just let them pile up until I have to start digging around full of frustration. This is followed by a day long power-cleaning session. (It takes me 24 hours not because my room is so messy but because I prolong the chore.)

So! Before I go to sleep every night, I’m going to clear up my desk. Throw away papers. Organize and get things tidy so that when I wake up in the morning, I’m off to a fresh start.

Small steps, baby steps. As long as I’m not sitting around bitching about my life, then I’d call it progress. ;]

FUCK YOU.

To the mean kids who called me names when I was a little girl.

To the “friends” I so desperately wanted but had to become a bully to win their favor.

To the boys in my life who proved that relationships are overrated.

To the teacher who thought I wasn’t ready for an AP class.

To the uncle that insulted me in public.

To the great aunt who made a rude comment at my own graduation party.

To those who told me that Sociology/English are shit majors and I won’t ever make money.

To customers who treat me as if I’m their personal slave.

To the assholes who think its their very mission to hurt the weak.

To the private Catholic school I attended that brainwashed me into thinking a dangerous narrow-minded LIE.

To the ignorant who treat my parents with zero courtesy because their English isn’t perfect.

To the people who think it’s okay to take advantage of me just because I don’t say anything.

To the ones who keep the status quo and are wrapped up in their own greed.

To my parents who STILL have not realized is that I want their recognition and not their money.

To anyone who puts me down and tells me all of my goals are impossible.

FUCK YOU.

And!

Watch me succeed.

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